How Do i Find My sister and brother?

well im only 11 but i smart enough to ask this question because my mom been having babies since she was in her 20's and she was going for 12 kids but she cant keep none because of her troubled p with stealing and drunkenness and its been bugging me because i use to ask her where is jada and she'd say she's adopted and i remember when i was little i saw my sister because she had heart and breathing problem and i saw her then but she got adopted : ( and i was an only child because we all got split apart the oldest one is 23 i think but i see him but i cant see jada or balen or well i know where the oldest ones live and i see them but the only time i see the ones closer to my age are in my dreams and memories and i saw my two brother but i saw them for a sad reason one died at 15 so i couldn't play with the other because he was crying and he loved he adopted mom more then me so i just hugged him and walked away and i don't know where he lived but there adopt mom was suppose to keep in touch with us but i seen the one who died since he was 6 or 7 and i was 4 and the one that was crying was like 6 or 5 they were so close the were adopted by one of there dad's but he died and they got re adopted by that lady who changed there names to dallas and houston but there real names were Remon and Joshua me im Remonia close to the one that died but im ok now i just wanna find some of them please help i hate being the only child my great aunt adopted me and she had kids but there all 30-40 so i stay home i have a dog and she's like a sister to me Jonathan 23 i see him J.ra i see her Anthony i see him Remon like i said hes dead : ( Joshua 12 maybe i don't know where he is Me well i see me Lil'stacy jr i see him Jada i don't where she is Balen IKD where he is Ja'zira i know where she is Monique i know where she is please please help me sooo bad my adopted mom said she wish she had taken Remon and Josh Josh and me of course